How the race of being the Winner can kill you from inside

How the race of being the Winner can kill you from inside

We all want to be independent, we all want to do what we like to do, we all want to spend more and more time with our loved ones. Are we doing it? For most of us, the answer is NO. The only reason is, we all are in the race of being the winner tomorrow even at the cost of the present. We want to be the winner even if it’s killing us from inside.


The race of being the best, the race of having the best and the race of reaching somewhere faster than everyone else is the reason for all unhappiness spread everywhere. If we follow the world happiness index of 2019, Finland is the happiest country and India ranks at #140 in the index way below our neighboring countries Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and even Pakistan. India is the world’s fastest-growing economy and currently ranks at 7th, way ahead of its neighbors. This means the jobs are higher, GDP is better, accessibility to modern needs is better and still, we are unhappy.

Pakistan stands at 67th rank, China at 93, Bhutan at 95, Nepal at 100, Bangladesh at 125 and Sri Lanka at 130, leaving India way behind.

One of the major factors in the happiness survey is freedom and generosity. The race of being the winner in every aspect of life is taking away our freedom. To beat everyone around in our competition, our inherent generosity has gone for a toss. The constant reminder of ” I should get that promotion”, “I should get that business contract”, “My kid should be the topper of the class” and many such reminders have blocked our minds.

We are in a constant battle with ourselves, the battle between what we want and what we should want. I have seen people and in fact, I know people who are in the top 1% earning bracket, possess luxury cars, independent villas and their kids study in a top international school. They have everything a middle-class person wishes for. They just don’t have one thing, the time to go on a long drive in that luxury car, the time to spend in that villa, the time to accompany their kids to school. Some of them are sad about this while some aspirational ones are content with the current situation.

Irrespective of the audience, you like it or you don’t like it. Unless and until we decide not to be too hard on ourselves to become a winner, we will be in that mental trap of achieving more. The sole idea is the art of being content. We need to learn to put a full stop, we need to learn to say “this is enough for me”. The race to the top is a never-ending one, a race with an invisible destination.

In this race of being the winner, most of us are ignoring our health, the time we should spend with our loved ones and the attention we should pay to our surroundings. It’s not like we should not work, we should not get a promotion or a raise. It’s just that, we should not regret it and we should not lose our freedom to it. Promotions, Hikes, new businesses should bring joy and should never become the reason for unhappiness or regret at any point in life. No matter what we buy ” small size car” or ” a Ferrari”, the happiness attached to the new car will have mostly a very small shelf life. This is true for any materialistic things, be it car, TV or house. What remains with us are the memories, the events, and the associations.

The race of being the winner is taking the time away from us which is required to create moments, to create those unintentional events which we can cherish and be happy about till death. Our car which we bought by winning a race which we ran for 2 years can never provide the same happiness as those unintentionally happy moments. Time keeps on ticking and we need to choose what is more important at the time. We need to say to ourselves ‘ I am done for the day”. We need to allow time to work on our passions, to meet someone we want to, to spend time beyond work.

Do what makes us happy today and tomorrow as well. Accumulate what will stay with us today and tomorrow as well. Achieve what will stay an achievement today and tomorrow as well.

If you like this and you feel the same, feel free to share it with your network. I believe there are many who are going through the same turmoil as us and if we can help a single person to say “this is enough for me”, the purpose of this writing is achieved.

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